DIRECTIONS
             OPTIONAL REVISION OPPORTUNITY
    Submit your typed, revised topic sentences on Monday, 
    October 13.  Make sure you:
    • Preview the main idea of the paragraph in the topic 
      sentence
    • Relate to ALL aspects of the thesis
    •                                   nd     rd
      Transition where necessary (in the 2  and 3  topic 
      sentences)
    • Vary your word choice rather than repeating the same 
      words from the thesis or from other topic sentences.
    • Color code each topic sentence according to 
      directions on the next slide.
       DIRECTIONS for resubmitting topic sentences:
 1. Re-type your thesis.
 2. Rewrite/revise topic sentences.
 3. Color-code topic sentences to reflect the necessary 
    aspects (preview main idea, relate to thesis, and 
    transition)
    Preview the main idea (the character) of the 
       paragraph-mark the main idea in your topic 
       sentence in RED
    Relate back to thesis-mark the relation back to 
       thesis in GREEN
    Transition where necessary-mark your 
       transitional words/phrases in the topic sentences 
                 nd      rd
       for your 2  and 3  character in BLUE
                *See model on the next slide.
 MODEL—Your revisions should be typed and look 
 like this:
 THESIS:  In The Crucible by Arthur Miller, those 
 with a guilty conscience seek atonement.
 • Topic sentence 1:  Feeling remorseful, Hale is a 
   significant character who attempts to right his 
   wrongs.
 • Topic sentence 2:  Another character who tries to 
   redeem himself and correct past mistakes is John 
   Proctor.  
 • Topic sentence 3:  Although unsuccessful in the 
   end, Mary Warren also at least tries to remedy 
   her poor behavior that plagues her conscience.
                Some reminders
   Titles of books and plays need to be 
   italicized OR underlined
   • The Crucible or The Crucible
   •  The Crucible is a play, not a book or a 
      novel
   The character’s name is MARY Warren
   • Mary=name
   • Marry=verb meaning “to wed”
   Reminder: As you construct topic sentences, you have 
      to vary your word choice; you cannot just write the 
                      same thing again and again.
                                                                     W
 THESIS:  In The Crucible by Arthur Miller, those with a guilty 
                                                                       OR
                                                                         DS 
                                                                            NEE
                                                                               D 
                                                                                 T
                                                                                  O
                                                                      B              
                                                                       E 
 conscience try to atone.                                               CH
                                                                           ANGE
                                                                                D!
 NO:      Hale has a guilty conscience and tries to atone.
             Another character who tries to atone because of a 
 guilty 
                conscience is John Proctor.
 BETTER:
 •   T.S. 1:  Feeling remorseful, Hale is a significant 
     character    
               who attempts to right his wrongs.
 •   T.S. 2:  Another character who regrets his mistakes 
     and tries 
                to redeem himself is John Proctor.  
 •   T.S. 3:  Although unsuccessful in the end, Mary Warren 
     at 
                least tries to remedy her poor behavior that 
 plagues 
                her conscience.